White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has today announced that the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, has fitted US President Joe “Say It Ain’t So” Biden for a brain transplant.

Doctors at the Bethesda Naval Hospital received news last week that a suitable brain had been located at the Al-Ahli Baptist Hospital in Gaza, following a missile strike there by the Israeli militia that killed hundreds of Palestinians.

Israel President Bibi Satanyahu was guarded about details on how the Knesset had learned of the news a suitable donor had been found but told Walter Reed to expect Biden’s new grey matter after it undergoes reprogramming at the Sheba Medical Center in Ramat Gan, Tel Aviv.

Rumours also abound that the Sheba facility has come into possession of significant quantities of adrenochrome too that will also be sent to Bethesda to assist Biden in his recovery.

Concerns about the functionality of Biden's turnip implant have been growing since the summer when he ended a rare TV studio interview with Nicolle Wallace of MSNBC by getting up and walking off set while the show was still live.

In the rare sit-down interview with Wallace, Say It Ain’t So discussed an assortment of subjects including reports of military revolt in Russia, Supreme Court rulings and his campaign to seek a second term in office in next year’s US presidential elections.

But towards the end of the 20-minute discussion, Say It Ain’t So simply got up from his seat and walked behind Wallace as she was rounding up the segment.

And the growing concerns about the octogenarian’s turnip were compounded in September when he was accused of being disrespectful after also exiting the White House’s East Room before the conclusion of a Medal of Honor ceremony for a Vietnam War veteran.

Biden, who would turn 82 shortly after 2024’s Election Day, abruptly vacated the ceremony after fastening the US’s highest military decoration around the neck of bemused retired Army Captain Larry Taylor, 81, leaving Chaplain Brigadier General William Green Jr to hastily fill in by reading the closing benediction.

Say It Ain’t So’s actions were slammed by military veterans afterwards, who claimed the US commander-in-chief showed a grave lack of respect.

“Pardon my French… but what a f**king idiot,” former Navy SEAL and podcast host Shawn Ryan tweeted on “X” (the mark of the Musk) following the incident. “The continuous lack of respect Biden has for anyone is appalling. Hawaii, service members, active-shooter victims, the list goes on.”

But sorry, bad news Joe, the early exits are probably going to have to stop... pumped up on adrenochrome and with a healthy young brain soon to replace the turnip implant nobody is going to buy into the senile old fart ruse any longer.

But, fear not, there’s still hope for 2024’s campaign… “The Donald” is hardly likely to duck the Republican nomination so you could chance your arm and stick with the turnip until after the votes are counted.

The WEF puppetmasters in Davos would probably prefer the “leader of the free world” to run on turnip power than “duck gloop”… so even though 2024 is likely to be a close-fought contest it could be worth taking the gamble and sticking with the vegetable for the coming campaign.

Whether the NWO opts for an 82-year-old adrenochrome-infused relic or backs the second coming of the antichrist will probably be a close call… so, hey, hey Joe, do you feel lucky?

Editor’s note: some readers will probably realise by now that independent NWO fact-checkers could flag this article as fake news, which some of it is, but there’s also more than a modicum of truth in it too. But, of course, Say It Ain’t So’s not going to have the turnip replaced, there’s no way Klaus Schwab and his cronies in Davos want a world leader capable of free thought in the White House... so vegetable lovers, fear not, there’s probably still life in the old turnip yet!